Heavy heart

Pot holder craft

Yesterday afternoon Lisa and I managed to head over to an internet club, basically a computer room that charges about 5 grivna/hr to use their computers or WIFI.  It was nice to be able to finally Skype with our sons and see them and they could see us.  We miss our boys so very much, even though we know they are having a great time with my parents.  We stayed there for quite a while as we also Skyped with Lisa’s mom down in Florida.  Again, always nice to see and talk with family.  After the internet club we had a few errands to run as we needed some more groceries.  Side note, the food lacks preservatives so you shop just about every 1-2 days.  We also wanted to get a few items for Luda for her birthday.  We managed to find a chocolate muffin with chocolate icing, a pair of pink sunglasses, a hair brush, and a new pair of Adidas slides in purple.  I think they were a tad bit too big.  We bought a US size 6.  It won’t be long before she can wear them though.  She was very appreciative and said thank you, in English.  After going to the grocery store we stopped by a cell phone store to buy more minutes, or rather, put more grivna onto the phone, the minutes are relative to how we use the phone.  We also tried, and I think we were successful, to put additional days onto our modem.  It costs about $1/day for unlimited usage on the modem.  Also, this is a 3G cellular modem, not a cable modem.  We got back to the apartment later in the evening and supper was pasta.  BTW, eating here in Ukraine is fairly simple.  You can cook all the same meals once you know what you are looking for in the store.  Tonight we’re gonna have fried chicken!  And the milk, well it does have a full body to it and a slight aftertaste, but very drinkable.  Breakfast has been French toast or eggs and bacon or really good French pastries from the bakery next door.

Beyond shopping for groceries and catching up on work emails, we do a lot of reading, walking around the city, we are trying to go out on date nights about twice a week, and certainly keeping the blog updated is how we pass the time when we are not visiting with the orphanage.

Birthday girl!

Today’s visit was slightly different as we were not surrounded by all the children.  It was just the quaint group of Sophia’s friends.  We went off to a shady spot with a seat in front of the dorm to give Luda her gifts and chocolate muffin.  After she opened her gifts she took them up and put them away in her room.  The girls all carry a key that they said is for their locker or trunk.  I have not been in her room so I don’t know.  Next we pulled out some simple crafts for the girls to work on.  The first was a kit that makes pot holders.  We thought it was a one person activity, but everyone got involved and took a turn.  Good for them.  It was nice to see them share the love of the activity.  We also had more of the book mark braids set up and ready to go and a few of the girls and boys wanted to make some.  At one point, one of the caretakers was having a heated conversation with a couple of the children and I asked Yulia if she was upset.  She said yes. I then asked if she was always upset, she said yes.  This is the stuff that got me in trouble at school and now here I am smiling at the same situation.  I know these kids have a self defense means of dealing with their caretakers, but come on, they’re children.  I bet if you showed them a smidge of love, they would gladly obey…once in a while.

We’ve also gotten close enough to this group that we can tell one of them in Russian, and some cases English, the instructions and they will happily explain it to the others or any newcomers.  It’s pretty cool to watch.  The relationship we have built with these girls will not make my life in the states any easier.  In fact, it will break my heart on a daily basis to think about these young ladies and lads.  They need love and have plenty of it to share.  The question you have to ask yourself is not do I have enough money.  Rather, can I handle the amount of love they will need and bring to my family?  I have read blog after blog and seen firsthand how the financial aspect of this process is surmounted.  God works miracles.  Well, it was especially difficult leaving today, I don’t know why.  Maybe I’m the one looking too far into the future, i.e. one week, and aching for my Sophia who will see her friends leave for the US.  Granted she will be there shortly and permanently, but nonetheless, it hurts.  We heard yesterday that court could tentatively take place on the 23^rd.  That’s also not helping my demeanor.  That would put us home right about the time the children will be returning from the hosting program.  We will cross paths in the sky.  So I have a few prayer requests and I understand that God has everything planned out perfectly.  He also states that if two agree on earth and ask, it shall be done:

Please pray that we have court within a week

Please pray that their story can be heard and that they may find their forever family

Please pray that my boys will remain strong and be able to feel our love

Please pray for our dear Sophia to have courage and continue to open up and trust us as she faces uncertainty

When we arrived back at our apartment, I grabbed my bible and was hoping for some solace.  I’ve been reading it straight through for a little over two years now, it’s a really big book with fine print, and my next chapter was Matthew 18.  Perfect!  I feel a little better, but I’m gonna have to let go and let him work.

Please if you can, share my blog with your friends.  If they have questions about the hosting program or any of the children, they can friend me on Facebook or send me an email to txnhoki@gmail.com.  In addition, there is more information at www.redlineunited.org.  I want to see all these children find their forever family.