Raw emotions...

I didn’t have a chance to update the blog as we had court late in the afternoon.  So the day started with us waking up late, maybe 6:15 in the morning.  We didn’t really get much sleep that night.  We had court on our mind, Sophia, our boys, Sophia, travel itineraries, and Sophia.  We took our time getting ready.   We packed the suitcases, put away all the electronics and chargers, washed dishes, and showered.  Well the apartment has an instantaneous water heater that uses gas.  It takes a few tries to keep it going and each time it lights up, there is a small explosion.  Slightly unnerving, but after 3 weeks, we were used to it.  Today for my shower, it decided not to work at all.  The water coming out of the tap is cold.  So I took a shower that was very cold.  I have a much greater appreciation for the showers the children take.  After breakfast we headed over to our favorite little bakery for chocolate croissants.  We then passed the time with cards and reading.  Our facilitator was coming in on the overnight train and he came over around 11am to shower.  Well, he was not so fond of the cold shower and promptly cranked up the gas volume being fed to the unit.  When he turned the shower on, we were sitting in the other room (there were only two in the apartment), the ensuing explosion was not small.  It shook the apartment!  But mind you the water coming out was now close to 110F.  It’s HOT!  So as you throttle the temperature down, the gas heater shuts off.  So you hear the Russian exclamations of, which I imagine to be HOLY COW THIS WATER IS COLD!  He turns the water off and back on.  Again, another apartment shaking explosion!  At this point, I turned on the exhaust fan over the stove to vent as much gas as possible…just in case.  In reality, I’m sure the flue pipe was becoming a flame thrower each time he turned the water on.

We survived and we all headed out to grab a bite to eat for lunch.  After lunch, we stopped by the orphanage so our facilitator could coordinate something with the director.  We took the time to go pop in and see Sophia.  She had on her shirt, but did not have the shorts on.  Good thing, as they are white and would have probably gotten a little dirty waiting.  She was headed over for her lunch so we got our hugs and she was off.  We headed back to the apartment to change into our court clothes as it’s way too hot to walk around in those.  Then we were off to court.  We were there about 45 minutes early and we waited down in the lobby.  I call it a lobby, it’s more like a 10x15 room with a bench and a desk with a copier on it.  The front door was open, which was no big deal as the building is not air conditioned.  So we waited on the bench with arms spread out so as to increase ventilation as much as possible.  About 30 minutes later Sophia came in with the orphanage director.  She looked beautiful and smiled when she saw us and took a seat between us.  We showed her pictures of what her friends have been doing back in the states, which helped to pass the time as we waited until 3:30.

At 3:30, we went upstairs to the courtroom outside the judge’s chamber.  The courtroom we were waiting in had a holding cell, which kind of added a little drama to the scene.  Thankfully this is not where the proceedings were held.  About 15 minutes later, we were invited into the air conditioned office of the judge.  As we took our seats, they turned the AC off.  WHAT?!  No please keep it on, I’m dying here with this tie, long sleeve shirt, pants, and SOCKS!  I have only worn socks 3 times over the past month and my feet were hot!  At least it was cool at the start, but got warmer quickly as there were 12 people in the office.  The process is basically, a preliminary hearing, the hearing, and then the debates.  This took about 1.5 hours.  I can handle, though I’m not real comfortable with, my personal information being shared with complete strangers.  Knowing the why I’m there, helped.  But still, there are 9 complete strangers in Ukraine, that now know where we live, what our house is like, what our education and jobs are, and how much we make in a years time.  The hard part in this part of the process was hearing about Sophia’s past.  Your background and status as well as hers is recounted three times during the proceeding.  I can handle mine and Lisa hers.  Sophia on the other hand had to listen to where she came from, how she ended up in the orphanage, why she is still there, where her living relatives are and that they want nothing to do with her…three times.  And at one point, a question was asked as to why Sophia was still there.  I’m pretty sure I heard it the first two times, but I guess they felt the need to hammer it home that nobody wanted Sophia.  That hurts.  It hurt me, and it visibly shook our daughter.  Sophia was asked to give testimony regarding her status and whether she wanted to be adopted.  The first two times she said yes.  She was asked about the relationship she had with us, good.  She was asked what she thought about being adopted, she said it will be hard to leave.  The third time she was asked if she wanted to be adopted she said yes, but then she was asked to describe why she wants to be adopted.  At this point, it was too much.  She could not keep it together anymore.  Thankfully the orphanage director quickly consoled her and comforted her, but she would not look up anymore.  This court proceeding has brought all the emotions over the last three weeks to the surface.  It is really happening.  This is when it truly hits her and us that she is leaving her home in hopes of a better life.   I can imagine we will go through a grieving process back in the states similar to that of losing a loved one.  Why did she get chosen out of all the children at the orphanage?  Why now?  Who’s going to look after her father or her friends?  So many questions that she may not fully accept or comprehend that we will have to deal with when we bring her home.  Yet at the same time, she did give us hugs after the verdict was read.

I couldn’t speak, and still get choked up when trying to get through it.  When Alex was born I just sat there and took slow breaths for about 30 minutes as I watched them clean him and run their tests on him.  I would nod or shake my head, but I could not open my mouth.  If I did, I knew I would lose it.  Sure enough, when I finally went out into the lobby to tell my mom and mother-in-law the news, I borke down into sobs.  They thought something had gone terribly wrong, so I had to resort to head shakes and nods to communicate until I could pull it together.  Same thing here, I could not speak.  Lisa had to talk for me, and she could barely keep it together.  Even with Sophia, all I could do was hold her and smile.  I was speechless.  Lisa had to call the parents and share the news.  We are elated beyond words to have Abigail Sophia Davis as our daughter.  We cannot wait to get her home and start the process of healing and becoming a family.  We love you Abigail Sophia Davis.

We didn’t have a chance to celebrate or even help start the process of healing because the director needed to return to the orphanage and Sophia had to go with her.  We had a little more time to get ready to catch our train, but it’s not the ending we had envisioned.  Quite frankly, it was the complete opposite.  Lisa and I shared one last pizza from the first café we ate at in Simferopol and then headed to the apartment to await our ride.  We got to the train station and caught the 8pm train to Kiev.  While I slept more on this train, I have to say I could not get my daughter out of my head.  She pervaded every thought.  Even when I would try listening to a book, my mind wandered off to Sophia.  I finally broke down and prayed that she be protected and comforted.

Today in Kiev, we stopped by the US Embassy to get some paperwork signed as Lisa will not be here when the process of applying for Sophia’s visa is finalized.  We’re also staying in the Kiev apartment with Lena and Chess who finally have received their referral to start the adoption process of their two children.  Great people, great times, awesome food (thank you Lena!), and great conversation!