Spasiba dill-ya "Little B"

Sem-ya, inogda legko, inogda trudno. Family, sometimes easy, sometimes hard. This is one of the simple phrases I came up with while Little B was here. Yesterday afternoon he and the rest of his friends flew back to the Ukraine. That was a very heavy moment for everyone. Nobody wanted to see them leave, but this is the next step in their little adventure.

These kids travelled by trains, planes, and automobiles to get to their host family's homes three weeks ago. They arrived in the middle of the night after close to 40 hours of traveling only to go home with a family they have NEVER seen before and add to the mix the language barrier. Russian is not exactly a second language of choice for many kids in the US, much less in NC. That first night was spent getting a little familiar with each other. The boy who flew out yesterday has become a member of our family. Over the three weeks we had our ups and downs, but in the end, we love each other. That's how a family works. We didn't experience any major psychological concerns while Little B was with us. Nothing we don't see in our own young boys when they are tired, overwhelmed, or disappointed in my answer of "no" to their wants.

Our last day together we basically kept it simple. We got up and had a big breakfast. Though I will say that this little guy doesn't eat much, not compared to my other boys. A couple of times it was clearly because he did not like the food or wanted to get back to whatever activity he had been doing prior to sitting at the table. Next we all got dressed for a family picture on the front steps. After the picture we had to get it developed to put into his photo album we made from his time with us. After the photo was printed we headed off to a candy store. We figured he's fixin' to fly back to the Ukraine, why not enjoy the flights with a pound of M&M's and a couple of Lollipop-ish looking things. After, the candy store we grabbed a quick bite to eat and headed home to pack.

I was dreading the packing. We gave him a rolling duffle that we packed with the clothes he came with and several extra items, a VT t-shirt, a VT hoodie for when the plane gets cold (you can never have enough Hokie gear), his blanket, stuffed bear, candy, toys, and his photo album. This was extremely difficult for me to do. I have grown very close to Little B and miss him terribly.

The ride to the airport was quiet and somber. Seeing the kids at the airport brightened up the mood big time. They were so excited to see each other and were showing each other their photo albums and what they did while they were with their host families. We asked a translator to ask Little B if he understood our intentions to adopt him and that we are coming for him. He answered that he both understood and also asked if we were going to adopt anyone else. I love this kid. In his time of potential triumph, he's reaching out to try and get a friend adopted too. I pray we could do this. However, right now, our focus is on getting Little B home. We were not allowed to accompany the kids to the gate due to time constraints so we said our goodbyes and got our hugs at the security checkpoint. After watching them make their way through security, we left and drove home to our beautiful three boys.

In the meantime, I will pray for the other orphans that their prayers be answered and if I can assist in anyway, I will do whatever it takes. These kids didn't choose this life. If you happen to read these words and are moved to know or do more, please don't hesitate to email me. I would love nothing more than to make a difference in the lives of these kids. Each is beautiful and strong in their own unique ways.

Lord, please watch over these special children. Guide them and comfort them. Answer their prayers daily. Work miracles for them and shower them with your love. I thank you for the time you allowed them to spend with us and letting me get to know your special children. I thank you especially for bringing Little B into our home and opening our hearts to him. Your will be done, amen.

Shto eta?

This has been the fastest three weeks ever. So last week the big field trip was a trip to the NC zoo. Lisa took the day off to carpool. The kids and her had a great time. Little B walked around the zoo taking pictures of everything. Animals, people, self portraits, a helicopter, a trash can...whatever was at the zoo was probably captured on our camera.

Friday night we took the boys to a fun park where they can ride go-karts, play video games, climb through a giant playland, and play a round of mini-golf...did I mention the video games. The boys had a great time 'til the money ran out on the cards. They each got a card preloaded with $5. Back when I was young, $5 equated to 20 games. In today's value of money, this was only 3 games. Needless to say, the money didn't last long. That when it got ugly. Little B was already a bit overwhelmed (I know I was, the assault on the senses is akin to a Vegas casino), when the money ran out on his card he started to get a little emotional. Please take what I say next in context of our situation and what we know about this little guy. He doesn't cry over physical pain, according to him. When he has not gotten his way up to this point, he has pouted for a few minutes and then moved on. This time however, was too much for the little guy to hold in. The temptation that was surrounding him was very powerful. I can see how easy it would be to play on an orphan's situation and take advantage of this weakness. Which is all the more reason these kids need a home with love and guidance. When I saw his reaction to the lack of being able to play and my unwillingness to ante up the needed money, I was both happy and sad for Little B. Sad for the reason above, but also because I too would have enjoyed splurging on all the games (not so much at $2 a game). I was happy for him, because I did see an emotion. I don't like seeing any of my boys in pain, but I also know that if we can't feel pain, we can't feel joy. Well, we made it out of the fun park with our two oldest pouting, and the two youngest happily recounting the nights events.

This week little B went with me to Tyler's soccer practice. When I wasn't helping the coach, I was kicking the ball with B on the side. He and I had a great time and I look forward to next season watching him play on the field in his uniform. Also this week, the kids went to the pool a couple of times. Little B, and the other kids, have the mentality that they can perform dives and flips as well as the next. Not so much. In B's case, it his ability to swim. He didn't let that get in the way of his chance to experience the diving board. Unfortunately for him, diving boards are not placed in the shallow end of the pool, so when he walked off the end of it, he couldn't touch. His ability to stay above the surface is admirable, but not efficient. He went down, then came up. Down, then back up. On the third trip down, a chaperone who was watching the kids "dive" jumped in and assisted Little B to the side of the pool. The chaperone was nervous knowing what she just did for him and witnessed. Little B on the other hand was clueless to the corklike swimming he just displayed and the potential risk. When we get this guy back home, we will be signing him up for swimming lessons.

At VBS this week they watched a movie on the life of Jesus, dubbed in Russian. At the scene of Jesus being nailed to the cross, Little B started tearing up. Again, this is what we want to see from our institutionally raised son. We will work through feelings, reactions, and responses when we get him home next year. I don't want to start a process we can't be there to guide him through.

The big trip this week was to Jordan Lake. I spent the day with the kids, swimming, pushing them (it seemed for hours) on a tire swing, speaking Russian with them, throwing the frisbee, and just having a great time. A couple of people brought their boats and the kids got dragged around the lake on big flat tubes. They were all smiles coming back to shore. While I will hold on to this day for the enjoyment it brought, it was difficult leaving. These kids will be returning to their orphanages tomorrow. The stark contrast between life here and there is difficult to put into words. For one, I have not seen or experienced their life in Ukraine so I will not speculate. But I can imagine.

Community Event - August 7th

Real quick post.


There are several other families hosting children who are available for adoption. One is very interested in adopting, however, the funds required to bring this child into their home is too much and so they are asking for donations to cover the adoption costs.


If you are interested in knowing more, seeing more, or feeling more, send Lisa or I a quick email and we'll be happy to answer any of your questions. Please take a look at the following website for more information: Community Event Flyer.


These kids are just kids that need love and a nurturing environment.  If you can help, please do.  If you know someone who can help, please forward this on to them.  I've heard amazing stories of God working miracles to get these children adopted.

Three is not Four

Whoever said that having four kids is the same as three was lying.  In fact, it's exponentially harder.  Just when you think you've got a conflict resolved between one pair, another pair has started bickering and so on.    Tomorrow is suppose to be a proposed deadline to submit our adoption agreement to the facilitators in the Ukraine and it's sparked tons of adult discussion.  The most important one being "how the heck are we going to raise four kids and keep everything else in tact...patience, sanity, health, marriage, to name a few?".

Since "B"'s arrival, we've been "on" the whole time.  From the moment we wake up to when we go to sleep, we are translating, parenting, keeping house, working, playing and coordinating.  There's no couple time and definitely no alone time.  This past weekend, we received free tickets to see Hairspray at the Raleigh theatre.  It was a pretty great show, but "B" was a little bored and chose instead to put on a temporary tatoo that he had received at lunch during the performance.  He was more excited with the ice cream they served after the show. Later that night, we were slated to attend a Raleigh Railhawk soccer game, but we opted out.  We simply did not have the energy to do anything else.

Sunday was a little calmer, but it ended with a community event of current and former orphans coming together.  It was an opportunity to talk to other parents about their successes and their struggles.    The kids were entertained by a makeup/balloon/clown lady and she did great.  She made balloon swords for my four boys.  I don't think I need to go into any details of what happened next.   It was crazy wild and it was all boy!  Check out the picture.  I've accepted that I will never get a perfect pose ever again.

Despite our state of zombieism, having "B" here has forced us to rethink how we interact as a family.  We eat dinner together every night at the kitchen table.  This may not sound like anything earth shattering, but dinner in front of the TV or at varying times is often the norm during the school year.  What with sports, work travel and outside commitments, we do what we have to do.  Oh and the DVDs and video games, they are often our electronic babysitter so we can decompress and regenerate.  There have only been limited screenings so the original 3 don't go into shock. 

Enough about our struggles, because the compassion that we're feeling is absolutely amazing.  We simply beleive that this is what we're meant to be doing.  As "B" feels more at home around all of us, he's started to push the limits and tease the boys.  The other day in the truck he actually turned around and shouted "stop it Alex" in perfect English.  He must of learned that phrase from us.  Oops.  We find that he's often williing to help and actually enjoys it.  The other day as I was unloading the table cloth from the dryer, he grabbed the placemats and put them on the table.  I grabbed the now famous "doily" to put on the table, but he quickly took it from me, placed it in the center of the table and went searching for a vase filled with flowers.  That coupled with other one off events started us wondering about his past.  We discovered that "B" was living at home until March when he was put into the Orphanage.  Although his upbringing was not ideal, we feel more comfortable that he was not physically abused at home.  Of course, what we know is only what we've learned through a translator via the lips of an 8 year old.  It's not easy to look at our little guy and not think the worst.  "B" has a few visible scars including a couple on his head.  During a translation session, he told us that he fell off the roof of his garage at his home and hit his head on the way down.  When we asked about the other scar, he said he fell of the roof twice.  He went on to show us other scars that we had not seen including one from a bike accident and another from climbing a tree.  Hmmm...knowing "B" it's certainly plausible, because he's very curious and has explored everything in our home.  All battery operated toys have been reactivated and we've purchased no less that 16 new AA batteries up to this point.  Laugh all you want...it's pretty awesome to see him playing with an ABC game and hearing him repeat the letters and sounds. He even will sit through a story as it's read by the Leap Frog pointer.

I won't go into the process of Ukrainian adoption since I'm not that familiar with it yet, but we're told that until our dossier is submitted to the Ukrainian government we can not learn more about the history of our potential child.  We'll simply have to go by what he tells us.  Unfortunately, he doesn't always have all his facts straight.  We asked him his birthday and he was convinced it was July 23rd.  This was the date that they travelled to the US.  His real birthday is March 27.  Birthdays are not celebrated at the orphanage.  We really don't care what the truth is and regardless of what the file shows, we can't wait to have "B" in our home safe and sound aggravating his brothers and making us exhausted.